Saturday, July 28, 2007
November 26, 2006
Not exactly an update. . .Considering I haven't updated since, well, June. . .I think there would be a bit too much to write with only a few minutes at my hands. I just wanted to write down a few thoughts to share with those few of you who still check this blog with the hope that maybe, just maybe, I have actually updated for once. Something that has really been made real to me over the last couple of weeks is the existence of the spiritual realm, and how greatly it affects the physical realm, basically how it affects EVERYTHING. I mean, not that I did not know it was real, but if you're anything like me, there is necessity for reminder every once in a while. These last couple weeks I have just fallen into sort of a depression, and a lot different than before. I lost my camera and transportation pass in a taxi, and then the next week I made some poor decisions, and ended up getting my iPod stolen as well. It has definitely been a learning experience, but everything seemed to be going wrong, and it threw me into a sort of despair, which, if you know me, is a very unnatural state for me. Then, on my own, i started changing the way I looked and thought about things, a kind of MENTAL exercise to improve my spirits and get me back in balance. "You're in SPAIN! This is life! Enjoy it! You'll be sad when it's over. . " I got myself out of the house and made a point to be productive and meet up with friends. I felt better, I went to bed that night assuming things had approved, that the next morning, I would get up, go to the Rastro, mass, and get a calamari bocadillo, and things would get even better. But that morning I woke up still miserable. I really didn't like life, didn't like myself, and dreaded getting up because I would just have to face failures and disappointments I didn't want to think about. But I did end up getting up, and getting out (although 2 hours later than planned). And I went to the Rastro (huge flea-market type thing). Then I went to Mass. And that is when everything changed. It was in Spanish, and with the echoes in the big church (San Cayetano) it is difficult to hear anyway, so I didn't quite understand. But I could feel that I was in the presence of God, and I basically had my own personal time with Him while I was there. And more than ever I prayed and meant that prayer before communion, "Lord I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed." Well I was. And I'm figuring out that that wierd time of despair was and is truly a spiritual imbalance. I'm getting balanced again. And I am happy, not because I have changed my mind or perspective but because God has set my spirit right. So please pray for me!God is good. That's really all that I want to tell you. :)
Not exactly an update. . .Considering I haven't updated since, well, June. . .I think there would be a bit too much to write with only a few minutes at my hands. I just wanted to write down a few thoughts to share with those few of you who still check this blog with the hope that maybe, just maybe, I have actually updated for once. Something that has really been made real to me over the last couple of weeks is the existence of the spiritual realm, and how greatly it affects the physical realm, basically how it affects EVERYTHING. I mean, not that I did not know it was real, but if you're anything like me, there is necessity for reminder every once in a while. These last couple weeks I have just fallen into sort of a depression, and a lot different than before. I lost my camera and transportation pass in a taxi, and then the next week I made some poor decisions, and ended up getting my iPod stolen as well. It has definitely been a learning experience, but everything seemed to be going wrong, and it threw me into a sort of despair, which, if you know me, is a very unnatural state for me. Then, on my own, i started changing the way I looked and thought about things, a kind of MENTAL exercise to improve my spirits and get me back in balance. "You're in SPAIN! This is life! Enjoy it! You'll be sad when it's over. . " I got myself out of the house and made a point to be productive and meet up with friends. I felt better, I went to bed that night assuming things had approved, that the next morning, I would get up, go to the Rastro, mass, and get a calamari bocadillo, and things would get even better. But that morning I woke up still miserable. I really didn't like life, didn't like myself, and dreaded getting up because I would just have to face failures and disappointments I didn't want to think about. But I did end up getting up, and getting out (although 2 hours later than planned). And I went to the Rastro (huge flea-market type thing). Then I went to Mass. And that is when everything changed. It was in Spanish, and with the echoes in the big church (San Cayetano) it is difficult to hear anyway, so I didn't quite understand. But I could feel that I was in the presence of God, and I basically had my own personal time with Him while I was there. And more than ever I prayed and meant that prayer before communion, "Lord I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed." Well I was. And I'm figuring out that that wierd time of despair was and is truly a spiritual imbalance. I'm getting balanced again. And I am happy, not because I have changed my mind or perspective but because God has set my spirit right. So please pray for me!God is good. That's really all that I want to tell you. :)
May 30, 2006
big falls craziness and other good times
Ok soo this is my day today:
Went to sleep at 1:30 or so . . .after watching X-3 and Poseidon (gag) at the drive-in. It was good company, all "cozy" tucked in the bed of the truck with 4 other people. and good to finally have Rachel back home!! plus Kyle had extra speakers that we stuck on top of the truck which made the movie experience that much more enjoyable. i've never been able to hear the sound at the drive-in so well! too bad it didnt really matter if you heard the lines because the second movie. . .just good enough to laugh at. . .
and then apparently i had the morning shift. . .i told a co-worker last week that i would work the shift for her if absolutely no one else could do it. and to call me if she needed me to do it. well she apparently proceeded to fill in my name for me on the schedule. . .i was at spirit west coast all weekend and hadnt been to the pool since thursday. . so i get a call at 5:15 from teeny wondering why i wasnt at work (because i tend to get there at 4:45 on a regular basis). . .and i go in and see my name on the schedule. . .a name i didn't write. oh i was thrilled. but the morning was gorgeous, i was happy to be awake anyway.
THEN it was finally a trip out to big falls (just the first waterfall, didn't have time to go up higher). i jumped off a 15 foot ledge twice before being daring enough to jump off the 20 foot one where it looks like you're going to hit the cliff. . .and then a tree. . hah it was awesome. and the way there it is a long dirt road with a bunch of creek crossings. we took kyles (insanely muddy - only semi-clean spot is a couple half-circles on the windshield) ford ranger again and tore up some mud pits, did some hill climbing, and even got stuck pretty bad on the way out in another mud pit we found - we went a little far - into some mud and brush and cactuses???? (no joke) past the mudpit. someone had dumped the cactuses there apparently.
oh and p.s. i basically sat in poison oak when i was clinging to the cliff for dear life before jumping. and climbing the rock back up to the jump you couldnt really avoid it either. i did preventative treatment as best i could but we'll see in a couple days, won't we?
so that basically made my day. :)
then i taught a swim lesson that i took over because the girl couldnt deal with guy instructors. apparently she was a handful so i was called in to take her. one of the guards told her what my suit looked like and before i could even give her my hand to introduce myself she had run up to me and wrapped me in the best hug ever! i had so much fun with her!! its starting out to be a great summer.
so that was my day so far. basically how summer should be. get up early, spend time doing crazy things outdoors (off-roading, hiking, and jumping off 20-foot waterfalls while blasting the country music), doing a little bit of work/playing in the pool, then passing out for an afternoon nap ahh. . .it feels good to be lazy when you've done something crazy
and tonight. . .its a big davinci code movie party. me, laura, garrett, and laura's brother david all finished the book this week so we're headin out to see the movie. we def didn't want to go opening weekend to give it the good box-office ratings haha.
and it was a good day for reading proverbs. i came across one of my favorites (it was the 30th so i read Ch 30).
"Four things are among the smallest on the earth, and yet are exceedingly wise: Ants - a species not strong, yet they store up their food in the summer;Rock-badgers - a species not mighty, yet they make their home in the crags;Locusts - they have no king, yet they migrate all in array;Lizards - you can catch them with your hands, yet they find their way into king's palaces."
Proverbs 30: 24-28
big falls craziness and other good times
Ok soo this is my day today:
Went to sleep at 1:30 or so . . .after watching X-3 and Poseidon (gag) at the drive-in. It was good company, all "cozy" tucked in the bed of the truck with 4 other people. and good to finally have Rachel back home!! plus Kyle had extra speakers that we stuck on top of the truck which made the movie experience that much more enjoyable. i've never been able to hear the sound at the drive-in so well! too bad it didnt really matter if you heard the lines because the second movie. . .just good enough to laugh at. . .
and then apparently i had the morning shift. . .i told a co-worker last week that i would work the shift for her if absolutely no one else could do it. and to call me if she needed me to do it. well she apparently proceeded to fill in my name for me on the schedule. . .i was at spirit west coast all weekend and hadnt been to the pool since thursday. . so i get a call at 5:15 from teeny wondering why i wasnt at work (because i tend to get there at 4:45 on a regular basis). . .and i go in and see my name on the schedule. . .a name i didn't write. oh i was thrilled. but the morning was gorgeous, i was happy to be awake anyway.
THEN it was finally a trip out to big falls (just the first waterfall, didn't have time to go up higher). i jumped off a 15 foot ledge twice before being daring enough to jump off the 20 foot one where it looks like you're going to hit the cliff. . .and then a tree. . hah it was awesome. and the way there it is a long dirt road with a bunch of creek crossings. we took kyles (insanely muddy - only semi-clean spot is a couple half-circles on the windshield) ford ranger again and tore up some mud pits, did some hill climbing, and even got stuck pretty bad on the way out in another mud pit we found - we went a little far - into some mud and brush and cactuses???? (no joke) past the mudpit. someone had dumped the cactuses there apparently.
oh and p.s. i basically sat in poison oak when i was clinging to the cliff for dear life before jumping. and climbing the rock back up to the jump you couldnt really avoid it either. i did preventative treatment as best i could but we'll see in a couple days, won't we?
so that basically made my day. :)
then i taught a swim lesson that i took over because the girl couldnt deal with guy instructors. apparently she was a handful so i was called in to take her. one of the guards told her what my suit looked like and before i could even give her my hand to introduce myself she had run up to me and wrapped me in the best hug ever! i had so much fun with her!! its starting out to be a great summer.
so that was my day so far. basically how summer should be. get up early, spend time doing crazy things outdoors (off-roading, hiking, and jumping off 20-foot waterfalls while blasting the country music), doing a little bit of work/playing in the pool, then passing out for an afternoon nap ahh. . .it feels good to be lazy when you've done something crazy
and tonight. . .its a big davinci code movie party. me, laura, garrett, and laura's brother david all finished the book this week so we're headin out to see the movie. we def didn't want to go opening weekend to give it the good box-office ratings haha.
and it was a good day for reading proverbs. i came across one of my favorites (it was the 30th so i read Ch 30).
"Four things are among the smallest on the earth, and yet are exceedingly wise: Ants - a species not strong, yet they store up their food in the summer;Rock-badgers - a species not mighty, yet they make their home in the crags;Locusts - they have no king, yet they migrate all in array;Lizards - you can catch them with your hands, yet they find their way into king's palaces."
Proverbs 30: 24-28
April 14, 2006
IF I COULD RETURN THERE
I first met him
On that chaotic day two thousand years ago
That changed the world
?Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews
IF you really are the Son of God, why doesn?t God save you now??
I spat in his face
And I crucified him
I forced my cruel crown upon his head
And embedded ruthless shards of metal
And glass
Into his torn, raw and bleeding back
And I crucified him.
I struck him in the face
And in the stomach
Waited for him to cry
But he just gazed at me
And his only tears
Were the streams of blood
Rolling from his forehead
So I crucified him.
Forgive her, for she knows now what she does
I pressed the cross into his body
And shoved him along the path to Calvary
Where I crucified him.
As malicious splinters lost themselves
In his opened back
I crucified him.
I drove the very nails that ripped through his wrists,
And while he cried out to me,
You will know your Father in heaven because of me
If you just remember, I still love you
And I have already forgiven you for what you have done
I drove the spear through his lifeless ribs.
They ask me today,
?Had I been there?
Would I have helped Him carry His cross?
?Had I been there?
Would I have defended Him against the soldiers?
I always answer yes.
But the truth is, I was there
And I did not love Him
But on the third day He did rise
And He sought me out
Behind locked doors
He called to me,
You, the one who murdered me
Are also the one I died for
And my promise still remains
If you will only let me live within you.
And I know now
?If I could return there?
I would deny myself
And take up the cross
In the name of the One who loved me
Despite all that I had done.
IF I COULD RETURN THERE
I first met him
On that chaotic day two thousand years ago
That changed the world
?Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews
IF you really are the Son of God, why doesn?t God save you now??
I spat in his face
And I crucified him
I forced my cruel crown upon his head
And embedded ruthless shards of metal
And glass
Into his torn, raw and bleeding back
And I crucified him.
I struck him in the face
And in the stomach
Waited for him to cry
But he just gazed at me
And his only tears
Were the streams of blood
Rolling from his forehead
So I crucified him.
Forgive her, for she knows now what she does
I pressed the cross into his body
And shoved him along the path to Calvary
Where I crucified him.
As malicious splinters lost themselves
In his opened back
I crucified him.
I drove the very nails that ripped through his wrists,
And while he cried out to me,
You will know your Father in heaven because of me
If you just remember, I still love you
And I have already forgiven you for what you have done
I drove the spear through his lifeless ribs.
They ask me today,
?Had I been there?
Would I have helped Him carry His cross?
?Had I been there?
Would I have defended Him against the soldiers?
I always answer yes.
But the truth is, I was there
And I did not love Him
But on the third day He did rise
And He sought me out
Behind locked doors
He called to me,
You, the one who murdered me
Are also the one I died for
And my promise still remains
If you will only let me live within you.
And I know now
?If I could return there?
I would deny myself
And take up the cross
In the name of the One who loved me
Despite all that I had done.
April 13, 2006
So. . .yeah. All the days that have followed spring break have just been a foggy blur. There's some moments that stand out but for the most part I don't really remember anything I've really gotten done since the first half of the semester. At some points I thought that I might be depressed, but i thought, "no way, not me. depressed? what reason could I possibly have to be depressed?" And that is what was most frustrating. Because I have it good. And yet, I was unusually unhappy. I really was depressed.
At CCF Tues night, the day I thought I might be doing a little bit better, because I had talked to Coach about water polo and had some time to refocus myself, we sang this song: Day after Day
Day after day, I'll seek to find youDay after day I'll wait for youThe deeper I go the more I love your name So keep my heart pure and my ways true As I follow you Keep my humble I'll stay mindful Of your mercies Lord I'll cherish your word I'll seek your presence I'll chase after you with all I have For one day I'll know I'll see you face to face Keep my heart pure and my ways true As I follow you Keep my humble I'll stay mindful Of your mercies Lord
Now I know the first two lines are supposed to be me singing to God. But for some reason, this time, from my perspective it was God singing to me. I was feeling that day after day was just the same frustrations and tiredness, that really, day was coming after day and i couldn't and didn't want to try to keep up. God was telling me that day after day he was seeking me, waiting for me to just trust in him, and telling me everywhere I turn that He loves me.
As for the rest of the song. The first verse: keep me humble, i'll stay mindful of your mercies Lord. I have realized that that is what God has been teaching me recently. He has been keeping me humble so that I can realized the true blessing it is to even have the opportunities I have, with school, with water polo, and so much more. And to have a pure heart is to have a heart with only one focus: Christ.
And then, the second verse. I just started crying. Because I have not been cherishing His word. I have not been seeking his presence, or chasing after Him with all I have. And as much as the Lord waits for me, and chases after me, if I am not also running towards him, we'll stay forever apart, and I'll only get tireder and tireder from all that running.
After singing that song, Chris then basically described exactly how I had felt the past few weeks as he spoke to the group about the song "I Exalt Thee." And truly, just singing that song (well, I couldnt actually sing cuz i was crying) helped me release a lot of that fog that had surrounded me, because I just gave it to God.
So I'd definitely appreciate your prayers. That I may not make things so difficult and complicated but just rejoice and take peace in the simple love and sovereignty of God.
. . .and have a great Easter everyone. The weather here in NY is beautiful! I am finally wearing a skirt. The window is wide open, I've got the country music blasting, and we have discovered that other people actually do live in the houses around us cuz everyone has doors open and music playing. It's a good day.
So. . .yeah. All the days that have followed spring break have just been a foggy blur. There's some moments that stand out but for the most part I don't really remember anything I've really gotten done since the first half of the semester. At some points I thought that I might be depressed, but i thought, "no way, not me. depressed? what reason could I possibly have to be depressed?" And that is what was most frustrating. Because I have it good. And yet, I was unusually unhappy. I really was depressed.
At CCF Tues night, the day I thought I might be doing a little bit better, because I had talked to Coach about water polo and had some time to refocus myself, we sang this song: Day after Day
Day after day, I'll seek to find youDay after day I'll wait for youThe deeper I go the more I love your name So keep my heart pure and my ways true As I follow you Keep my humble I'll stay mindful Of your mercies Lord I'll cherish your word I'll seek your presence I'll chase after you with all I have For one day I'll know I'll see you face to face Keep my heart pure and my ways true As I follow you Keep my humble I'll stay mindful Of your mercies Lord
Now I know the first two lines are supposed to be me singing to God. But for some reason, this time, from my perspective it was God singing to me. I was feeling that day after day was just the same frustrations and tiredness, that really, day was coming after day and i couldn't and didn't want to try to keep up. God was telling me that day after day he was seeking me, waiting for me to just trust in him, and telling me everywhere I turn that He loves me.
As for the rest of the song. The first verse: keep me humble, i'll stay mindful of your mercies Lord. I have realized that that is what God has been teaching me recently. He has been keeping me humble so that I can realized the true blessing it is to even have the opportunities I have, with school, with water polo, and so much more. And to have a pure heart is to have a heart with only one focus: Christ.
And then, the second verse. I just started crying. Because I have not been cherishing His word. I have not been seeking his presence, or chasing after Him with all I have. And as much as the Lord waits for me, and chases after me, if I am not also running towards him, we'll stay forever apart, and I'll only get tireder and tireder from all that running.
After singing that song, Chris then basically described exactly how I had felt the past few weeks as he spoke to the group about the song "I Exalt Thee." And truly, just singing that song (well, I couldnt actually sing cuz i was crying) helped me release a lot of that fog that had surrounded me, because I just gave it to God.
So I'd definitely appreciate your prayers. That I may not make things so difficult and complicated but just rejoice and take peace in the simple love and sovereignty of God.
. . .and have a great Easter everyone. The weather here in NY is beautiful! I am finally wearing a skirt. The window is wide open, I've got the country music blasting, and we have discovered that other people actually do live in the houses around us cuz everyone has doors open and music playing. It's a good day.
April 6, 2006
This has been a week of emotional rollercoaster-ing. And there's only dips on this one.
It seems so trivial to talk about what is currently upsetting me, considering the big sadness of this week. . .
This Sunday evening, Rita, the 16-year old sister of my best friend from Jr. High, died in a car accident in my hometown. I think we're all still kind of in shock. It kills me that I can't be there for Sara and her family, and it's so wierd to think that I won't see Rita next time I visit the youth group; I could always count on her familiar face there, even as different kids come and go. I still remember the last time I saw her, she was sooo excited to introduce me to her boyfriend. As it says in the newspapers, she always did have a smile on her face. I know she is home, and it is so comforting to picture her in the presence of the Lord with that big smile of hers. . .but it is definitely hard for the people left behind for now. There really are no words I can say. There was a memorial service tonight, and tomorrow is her funeral. My parents told me the huge Mission was packed. Rita is definitely loved and missed by all.
here is the deepest secret nobody knows(here is the root of the root and the bud of the budand the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which growshigher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars aparti carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
This has been a week of emotional rollercoaster-ing. And there's only dips on this one.
It seems so trivial to talk about what is currently upsetting me, considering the big sadness of this week. . .
This Sunday evening, Rita, the 16-year old sister of my best friend from Jr. High, died in a car accident in my hometown. I think we're all still kind of in shock. It kills me that I can't be there for Sara and her family, and it's so wierd to think that I won't see Rita next time I visit the youth group; I could always count on her familiar face there, even as different kids come and go. I still remember the last time I saw her, she was sooo excited to introduce me to her boyfriend. As it says in the newspapers, she always did have a smile on her face. I know she is home, and it is so comforting to picture her in the presence of the Lord with that big smile of hers. . .but it is definitely hard for the people left behind for now. There really are no words I can say. There was a memorial service tonight, and tomorrow is her funeral. My parents told me the huge Mission was packed. Rita is definitely loved and missed by all.
here is the deepest secret nobody knows(here is the root of the root and the bud of the budand the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which growshigher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars aparti carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
March 30, 2006
SPRING BREAK - Polo team came to SLO, got to play another game in my HS pool, it snowed in Pismo, there was a shooting at Denny's, a car chase and hijacking, some guy with a gun in an RV in the hospital parking lot. . .or something, line dancing and farmer's, a beautiful hike giving me my new favorite view of San Luis Obispo (and Pismo, and Morro Bay at that), getting beat by Joe at e.r.s. (it's been a LONG time since i've lost that game).
LAST WEEKEND:
I discovered that without Christ I am a jealous, envious, bitter, ungrateful person with little faith. It all came out last Sunday and I am ever in awe of God's mercy and grace.
THE REASON I WAS INSPIRED TO WRITE TONIGHT:
First truly warm day of spring.
There's poo coming out of the showers in E-block.
Someone broke into the boiler room and there was a power outage.
Can't get the boiler fixed - no hot water til probably tomorrow afternoon, and i haven't taken a shower since getting out of the pool.
I also refuse to take cold showers unless I am in Mexico.
So I am taking charge, defying the forces of mischief and inconvenience. I am boiling water - one teapot and one huge pot of it. I rinsed out our mop bucket, which I will fill with a mix of boiled and cold water. and i am taking my shower.
SPRING BREAK - Polo team came to SLO, got to play another game in my HS pool, it snowed in Pismo, there was a shooting at Denny's, a car chase and hijacking, some guy with a gun in an RV in the hospital parking lot. . .or something, line dancing and farmer's, a beautiful hike giving me my new favorite view of San Luis Obispo (and Pismo, and Morro Bay at that), getting beat by Joe at e.r.s. (it's been a LONG time since i've lost that game).
LAST WEEKEND:
I discovered that without Christ I am a jealous, envious, bitter, ungrateful person with little faith. It all came out last Sunday and I am ever in awe of God's mercy and grace.
THE REASON I WAS INSPIRED TO WRITE TONIGHT:
First truly warm day of spring.
There's poo coming out of the showers in E-block.
Someone broke into the boiler room and there was a power outage.
Can't get the boiler fixed - no hot water til probably tomorrow afternoon, and i haven't taken a shower since getting out of the pool.
I also refuse to take cold showers unless I am in Mexico.
So I am taking charge, defying the forces of mischief and inconvenience. I am boiling water - one teapot and one huge pot of it. I rinsed out our mop bucket, which I will fill with a mix of boiled and cold water. and i am taking my shower.
February 15, 2006
Just wanted to remember an idea for when i get bored = SLINKY + ESCALATOR.
thanks Justin.
Ok so Michelle updates the quotes that we constantly produce here at G8 in her AIM Profile. . .thought I'd start relaying those updates on Xanga cuz they're pretty funny.
"I never really thought that chefs wore shoes." - alicia
"who garnishes a water with a banana?" - ashley
"You do know you have post-it notes in your hair...?" - jessica
"only God can create six kinds of nuts." - jordie
"Jesus is my boyfriend, forever." - katy
"I just got into a fight with the condiments." -michelle
Just wanted to remember an idea for when i get bored = SLINKY + ESCALATOR.
thanks Justin.
Ok so Michelle updates the quotes that we constantly produce here at G8 in her AIM Profile. . .thought I'd start relaying those updates on Xanga cuz they're pretty funny.
"I never really thought that chefs wore shoes." - alicia
"who garnishes a water with a banana?" - ashley
"You do know you have post-it notes in your hair...?" - jessica
"only God can create six kinds of nuts." - jordie
"Jesus is my boyfriend, forever." - katy
"I just got into a fight with the condiments." -michelle
February 26, 2006
do you think Jesus would have shoveled snow?i encourage comments and discussion here.
reference Billy Collins' "Shoveling Snow With Buddah" - that's what prompted the question. we discussed in class whether or not Christians would be offended if the poem had been "Shoveling Snow With Jesus"
do you think Jesus would have shoveled snow?i encourage comments and discussion here.
reference Billy Collins' "Shoveling Snow With Buddah" - that's what prompted the question. we discussed in class whether or not Christians would be offended if the poem had been "Shoveling Snow With Jesus"
February 2, 2006
BraveNicole Nordeman
The gate is wideThe road is paved in moderationThe crowd is kind and quick to pull you inWelcome to the middle groundYou're safe and sound andUntil now it's where I've been'Cause it's been fear that ties me down to everythingBut it's been love, Your love, that cuts the stringsSo long status quoI think I just let goYou make me want to be braveThe way it always was Is no longer good enoughYou make me want to be braveBrave, braveI am smallAnd I speak when I'm spoken toBut I am willing to risk it allI say Your nameJust Your name and I'm ready to jumpEven ready to fall...Why did I take this vow of compromise?Why did I try to keep it all inside?So long status quoI think I just let goYou make me want to be braveThe way it always was Is no longer good enoughYou make me want to be braveBrave, braveI've never known a fire that didn't begin with a flameEvery storm will start with just a drop of rain
But if you believe in meThat changes everything
So long, I'm goneSo long status quoI think I just let goYou make me want to be braveI wanna be braveThe way it always was Is no longer good enoughYou make me want to be braveBrave, brave
What I set out in bold is what really stands out for me in this song. It's easy, at least it has been for me, to think that being a Christian is complicated. That true spirituality is complicated. That to be sure of your "Christian-ness" you have to be doing the right things, know the Bible inside and out, know exactly what everyone you've ever met needs prayer for and make sure you don't forget to include them in prayer.
But what does it all come back to, and where does it all start? It's NOTHING without Jesus. He's our only assurance of salvation!!
If we believe in Him, that changes everything.
You know why sometimes those of us who grew up in Christian homes, who really didn't have this "amazing" or "exciting" story of coming to Christ, think that maybe we really aren't as Christian as those who did (or maybe its just me)? I think it's because it's a lot easier for us to forget how simple the whole matter is.
1 John 2:23
Whoever denies the Son does not have the Father; just as the one who confesses the Son has the Father.
1 John 3:23
This is His commandment, that we believe in the name of His Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, just as He commanded us.
BraveNicole Nordeman
The gate is wideThe road is paved in moderationThe crowd is kind and quick to pull you inWelcome to the middle groundYou're safe and sound andUntil now it's where I've been'Cause it's been fear that ties me down to everythingBut it's been love, Your love, that cuts the stringsSo long status quoI think I just let goYou make me want to be braveThe way it always was Is no longer good enoughYou make me want to be braveBrave, braveI am smallAnd I speak when I'm spoken toBut I am willing to risk it allI say Your nameJust Your name and I'm ready to jumpEven ready to fall...Why did I take this vow of compromise?Why did I try to keep it all inside?So long status quoI think I just let goYou make me want to be braveThe way it always was Is no longer good enoughYou make me want to be braveBrave, braveI've never known a fire that didn't begin with a flameEvery storm will start with just a drop of rain
But if you believe in meThat changes everything
So long, I'm goneSo long status quoI think I just let goYou make me want to be braveI wanna be braveThe way it always was Is no longer good enoughYou make me want to be braveBrave, brave
What I set out in bold is what really stands out for me in this song. It's easy, at least it has been for me, to think that being a Christian is complicated. That true spirituality is complicated. That to be sure of your "Christian-ness" you have to be doing the right things, know the Bible inside and out, know exactly what everyone you've ever met needs prayer for and make sure you don't forget to include them in prayer.
But what does it all come back to, and where does it all start? It's NOTHING without Jesus. He's our only assurance of salvation!!
If we believe in Him, that changes everything.
You know why sometimes those of us who grew up in Christian homes, who really didn't have this "amazing" or "exciting" story of coming to Christ, think that maybe we really aren't as Christian as those who did (or maybe its just me)? I think it's because it's a lot easier for us to forget how simple the whole matter is.
1 John 2:23
Whoever denies the Son does not have the Father; just as the one who confesses the Son has the Father.
1 John 3:23
This is His commandment, that we believe in the name of His Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, just as He commanded us.
December 14, 2005
Just a little something to end the day: a blog i wrote in myspace back early November. just a little reminder for all of us.
i need words
what we say:
I need words
As wide as sky
And I need a language large as
This longing inside
And I need a voice
Bigger than mine
I need a song to sing You
That I've yet to find.
I need You
I need You
To be here now.
(David Crowder Band: I Need Words)
what God says:
I AM the Word
As wide as sky
I AM the Language large as
Your longing inside.
I AM the Voice.
Bigger than yours
And I AM the Song for you to
Sing 'cause you're mine.
And I love you.
And I want you.
To be here now.
Just a little something to end the day: a blog i wrote in myspace back early November. just a little reminder for all of us.
i need words
what we say:
I need words
As wide as sky
And I need a language large as
This longing inside
And I need a voice
Bigger than mine
I need a song to sing You
That I've yet to find.
I need You
I need You
To be here now.
(David Crowder Band: I Need Words)
what God says:
I AM the Word
As wide as sky
I AM the Language large as
Your longing inside.
I AM the Voice.
Bigger than yours
And I AM the Song for you to
Sing 'cause you're mine.
And I love you.
And I want you.
To be here now.
December 10, 2005. . .just for fun.
quotes!!
Jordie: "I don't really get nicknames. I don't really have a funny name."
Ashley: ". . .your last name is Yap.."
Me: "You do not bake cookies. You cook them. Otherwise they would be called bakies. . .helllooo."
Eric: (after i edited a 6 page paper) "your an english nerd.your the best frend a dyslexic could have" -talking about the editing program i used on Microsoft Word
quotes!!
Jordie: "I don't really get nicknames. I don't really have a funny name."
Ashley: ". . .your last name is Yap.."
Me: "You do not bake cookies. You cook them. Otherwise they would be called bakies. . .helllooo."
Eric: (after i edited a 6 page paper) "your an english nerd.your the best frend a dyslexic could have" -talking about the editing program i used on Microsoft Word
December 10, 2005
i have an empty picture frame on my desk.
the picture should have been taken out 2 months ago i just "didn't have the time," plus i stopped noticing it was there.
i was going to write this blog to comment that i didnt know if i should leave it empty, just take it off all together, or put something else in it (we're talking symbolism here, everyone)
but just as i thought of it, i realized the only thing that made sense to do with it.
something else is going in it. someone else. who? ah, yes, of course.
who else?
i have an empty picture frame on my desk.
the picture should have been taken out 2 months ago i just "didn't have the time," plus i stopped noticing it was there.
i was going to write this blog to comment that i didnt know if i should leave it empty, just take it off all together, or put something else in it (we're talking symbolism here, everyone)
but just as i thought of it, i realized the only thing that made sense to do with it.
something else is going in it. someone else. who? ah, yes, of course.
who else?
From December 8, 2005
Anyway, just last night I went to the college bible study at Calvary. We talked about the story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead in John Chapter 11. The point that is important in this blog is that Christ was purposefully four days late to see Lazarus. Martha tells him that if he had just come when she called, Lazarus would not have died. However, Jesus had waited. Why? It says in verse 14: ". . .Lazarus has died. And I am glad for you that I was not there, that you may believe. Let us go to him."
We talked that night about how Jesus waited so that his glory would be shown in such a greater way by raising Lazarus from the dead than by simply healing his sickness. Nobody but the Lord could take credit for bringing Lazarus to life. Martha could not even say "oh, I called Jesus and he came, so my actions prevented Lazarus from dying." (not to say she would say that, but even so, others might praise her actions and not the healing power of Christ).
So Jesus was four days late. But he was glorified in that, he showed that he is "the resurrection and the life" (v. 25)! So we asked ourselves the question: In what part of our lives does it seem like God is four days late?
Anyway, just last night I went to the college bible study at Calvary. We talked about the story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead in John Chapter 11. The point that is important in this blog is that Christ was purposefully four days late to see Lazarus. Martha tells him that if he had just come when she called, Lazarus would not have died. However, Jesus had waited. Why? It says in verse 14: ". . .Lazarus has died. And I am glad for you that I was not there, that you may believe. Let us go to him."
We talked that night about how Jesus waited so that his glory would be shown in such a greater way by raising Lazarus from the dead than by simply healing his sickness. Nobody but the Lord could take credit for bringing Lazarus to life. Martha could not even say "oh, I called Jesus and he came, so my actions prevented Lazarus from dying." (not to say she would say that, but even so, others might praise her actions and not the healing power of Christ).
So Jesus was four days late. But he was glorified in that, he showed that he is "the resurrection and the life" (v. 25)! So we asked ourselves the question: In what part of our lives does it seem like God is four days late?
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