"He said he'd been here his whole life
And he'd never got the chance to shine.
I think the stars came and stole him away
And saw he could shine.
Tell mama
Love don't you cry
Your baby's goin
Where his soul won't die. "
-Adapted from "Shine" by Shy Blakeman
The world can be a pretty ugly place. In fact, very rarely does the beauty intended for it and by it shine through. Jon worked really hard, he tried to make the most of what the world offered, tried to squeeze everything he could out of the more-often-than-not tedious 24 hours we are granted in a day. He has left the world a more beautiful place than it was before he showed up.(Photo by Sara Goehner)
I remember Senior year in high school, when Jon, Christine, and I would go across the street every Wednesday for a cheap pizza and soda lunch. I have great memories of just hanging out at his house. His mom would show me all the old family pictures and his dad had me try his famous homemade rosemary ice cream - Jon said I didn't have to pretend to like it, but it's still my favorite.
There was one time we took a badminton set Jon had and went over to Nativity, knocking on Fr. Mike's apartment door to ask permission to set it up on the church lawn. We played all that everning - I was horrible at it and kept missing the whatever-you-call-it, and Jon was encouraging - and merciful. There was another time when he, Jen, and I, decided to ride our longboards down the huge hill by his house. I remember the advice he yelled out as he sped down ahead of us, Jen and I still staring nervously at our hill and questioning our sanity and how much we trusted our boards-ourselves-and crazy Jon: "Don't be afraid; don't think about falling, and you won't!" I never would have done something like that on my own - in fact, I haven't since, though it was exhilarating. I remember Jen falling pretty badly (sorry for laughing, Jen, but falls like that just look funny, even though they aren't), and we went back to the house to patch her up.
It took Jon forever to ask me to winter formal. I had never been because of water polo, and finally my senior year I was going to be able to go. The day kept getting closer and closer, and still no date, but I wanted to go with Jon, or really, not at all. Then one weekend, I'm sure it was like the weekend before the dance (it might have even been during the week), we went minature golfing - we had a great time, but the whole time I thought he might ask me to go to the dance with him - and still, nothing. Finally, driving home in the BMW, talking about things I can't remember to save my life because I wasn't paying attention - in my head I was begging God that Jon would ask me to the stupid dance already - he did ask me.
We had a great time, starting with pictures at Kim's house and then to the dance at the Officer's Club (we missed out on riding in the stretch limo with Shane. . .Jon had taken so long to ask me Shane just assumed he wasn't going). Then we were headed to Ginny's house to change before a bonfire at Avila. We were following Klay in his Tundra when he stopped suddenly in front of her house (this is just moments after Jon said, "maybe i'm following too closely" and had started to slow down), and we rear-ended him, cracking the radiator in Jon's car and rendering it completely un-driveable. We had to call his dad to pick us up. I wanted to ride back home with them, but Jon insisted I stay for the bonfire.
I remember when I was trying to decide where to go to school, and I started to seriously consider New York. Jon encouraged me to go wherever I could make my dreams come true - even if it would be hard to leave home - and if that brought me to NY he would definitely come visit me. "Bright Lights" from Matchbox 20 still reminds me of him every time I hear it. It blows me away how relevant the lyrics are, now, in such a different way.I remember late-night "recording sessions" in Sara's guesthouse, and "worship nights" at my house - we never really were very productive but we always had a blast just goofing around.
(Photo by Sara Goehner)
I also remember studying for the worst class ever (though with one of the best teachers ever) - AP Statistics - with him and Andrew. We thought it would be better than Calculus. It was really just an excuse to hang out. I remember one night being up until like 3 am, maybe later, trying to figure out exactly what it was we were supposed to know for the test the next day and cop- i mean. . .- helping each other with all our assignments for that unit that we never finished until the day of the test.
Jon loved wonderbread, he was first introduced to it at Board with the Lord with our youth group, and he has been synonymous with it ever since. We used wonder bread to make these little pie things over the fire. That was probably the best Board with the Lord, ever.
There was one time I was writing something I was going to say for the Thank You party we were going to have at the Mission for AnnE Lorenzen upon her retirement from the Youth Director position. I also had a lot of things to do for creative writing, and being that Jon had like 5 jobs so was always working, I decided to write at the Bagle Cafe where he was working that day. I ended up writing this poem, instead:
September 20, 2003 (found poem from words on signs, walls, and windows)
This is girl to girl:
As lovely as
Jewelry
And flowers
Can be
Displayed beneath red signs that read
OPEN and SALE
Nothing is free
Unless you are just looking.
So steal a space
In public parking
Taste the atmospheres
Of seven California summers
on the water.
Save lives every morning
With the note of a lost plie
"I could go on and on about memories, but as wonderful as they are, that’s all they are- familiar smells, “theme” songs, phrases, expressions, moments recalled later as déjà vu. They’ve helped you become the person you are today, but they can’t create your future. I could wish you luck and success and happiness- but they are just wishes, dreams, until someone- you- make them happen. There is one thing I cannot express enough. Be concerned only with NOW, because this moment, the present, ahora, aqui is all you are guaranteed in this life. Make it worth something for the eternity that comes after NOW.
I hope I can always be no more than just a phone call away, but I can’t guarantee that. I cannot be certain that one day will be the last of our friendship, or that busy-ness and distance are too much to keep our friendship strong, or that my NOW won't be over before yours. All that is guaranteed is God’s love, forgiveness, faithfulness and comfort, despite obstacles of human suffering, bitterness, fleeting desires, passions and rejection.
The world sucks, to be brutally honest, and it could tear us apart. But God has given each on of us our NOW, to help Him change that- He only asks that we let him have control of everything; and the good will become pure and great, and suffering will find joy in Christ’s victory over the grave.
{So Jon, don’t forget me, or any of us left behind, but do not worry about us, you have gone on from NOW into eternity, into a new life to grab by the reins and take for an unforgettable ride.}"
See you in heaven. I love you.
(Photo by Sara Goehner)
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