Ok, so this post (answer to discussion questions) is what I just wrote to the group of girls with whom I am reading the book, Captivating, with. . .just a little glimpse into all that is Katy Z, I suppose.


Questions:Just to get you to start thinking about who you are!1) When you were 6 years old (or under) what took up most of your time? What were your favorite things? Who were your heroes? What did you want to be when you grew up?2) When you were 10 years old. . .(the above questions)3) When you were 13 years old . . .say jr high to freshman year in hs (the above questions)4) When you were 17 (and before you started college). . . (the above questions)5) Freshman year in college. . .(the above questions). 6) Now. . .7) Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

1) When I was 6 years old I liked horses and country music, I was the gift of mhyrr (sp?) in my kindergarten play and had a crush on the wise man who brought me. . .hah. Well that was 5 years old. But still funny. But anyway I loved animals, and the country, and wanted to be a vet and live on a farm. I looked forward to sleepovers at my grandparents' house down the street, when I was 5 or 6 was when my grandpa died, too, but I remember him the most fondly of all my grandparents. . .I'd say he was my hero at the time. I had just been accepted to the club swim team (at the pool I would eventually lifeguard at. . lol) and was upset that i couldn't keep doing swim lessons at the other pool because i was almost at the level where they dive through hula hoops. I loved it when my dad would sing "Don't Worry, Be Happy" and I would do dance recitals with my sister and dance around our room singing to Ace of Base. I also was playing piano and couldn't wait to start playing the violin (i would actually sneak it out and try to play before i even took lessons). I played soccer (the only girl on an all guys team, took dance lessons, art lessons,etc). In kindergarten my dad would pick me up from school every day in the old BMW i would later drive my senior year in HS, tell me we were having snail sandwiches for lunch, and take me home where i would watch David the Gnome and eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I think before i was 6 years old were the best years of my life and will forever be the best years of my life.
2) When I was 10 years old. . .I had been in the hospital 2 years before for a kidney infection. I kinda liked it, you got presents and got to watch TV all day. I don't think I realized how serious it really was. I was still taking piano and violin lessons. In the summers I was still riding horses, and I loved to read, I read all the time. My grandma (on my mom's side) died and my grandpa moved away and stopped talking to my part of the family. . .he still doesn't really, hardly talks to anyone. He was/is my cowboy grandpa. I wanted to buy a miniature horse and keep it in the backyard. I saw my guardian angel but nobody believed me except my parents, not even our parish priest when I told him at confession. I still wanted to be a vet, and I was a very involved girl scout (mom was the troop leader). I was far from being popular at school, but I had good friends. My best friend at school had just left to go to a different school but I saw her every weekend. I spent my days with the girl across the street and every saturday night we played night games with the neighborhood kids.
3) When I was 13 (jr high) i was "in love" with the boy down the street. He, my best friend next door, and I, were inseperable for 3 summers in a row. I honestly was still attached to that guy up until last year. We are still all good friends. haha. I wanted to go to school at the University of Wisconsin where my dad graduated from, and study to be a veterinarian. I also loved to write, and I also wanted to be Shamu's trainer at sea world (even then i was indecisive about my future plans haha). My heroes, I don't really remember. I know I really liked the Backstreet Boys. This was the time in my life I really started examining what I believed about God and what this whole Christian/Catholic thing was about (raised Catholic, and I believed, but you know, there is a time when you really have to look and think about it). I also went on my first trip abroad (Europe) with my family. I played basketball and volleyball, (Speaking of which.. .i dreamed i was having a bball shoot-out against Voldemort last night. . .hahaha). no more swimming, still piano and i was in the youth symphony orchestra.
4)When I was 17. . .my life changed completely. I spent a summer that completely turned my life around and set my path straight to God. I went on a mission trip to mexico to build houses, and after the first day, I knew that I wanted to spend my life serving God in a way that really worked me, where I could look back at the end of the day and feel like every moment had been worth something. I went to a Christian Youth Leadership conference (DCLA) in Washington D.C. where I rededicated my life to God, and I went to an intense camp called Wildwood where God showed me the kind of life He offers to those who love Him - with all its joys and struggles. I also began developing many more close Christian friendships, with a group who are my close friends to this day. I was at the peak of my performance in water polo, my junior year I tried out for the National Youth Team (didn't make it), and was playing water polo in Santa Cruz on the weekends and swimming during the week. I was planning on playing water polo in college, and I wanted to study religious studies. I loved camping/backpacking, country music, and playing cards and hide and seek at a local elementary school with my friends, and having movie nights and playing taboo. I was a lifeguard and I loved it. My hero, or the person I looked up to most, was probably Dave, my high school youth pastor. He has done the most out of anyone to encourage the missions vocation in me.
5) Freshman year in college (this is already so long, and theres so much more to tell) I got immediately involved in CCF, I was loving water polo and school, I wasn't homesick at all. I was a Radio/Tv/Film and Journalism major, I had great friends from CCF, and I was obsessed (and still am) with Nickel Creek. At this point I think I was still considering missions (though there was a period I forgot all about it and thought about simply journalism-film related careers).
6) Now, I realize that God is still molding me into His image. I honestly feel like a piece of dough or clay being kneaded through and through. Sometimes I'm stretched, sometimes pounded, rolled into little balls, and sometimes a little beautiful part of what God is making me into finally takes shape. This trip to Madrid this summer has really taught me more than I thought. I came for an internship but ended up with a completely different "internship" which at first glance seems like a side -venture but really I can see it is the whole reason I came here. I got involved with a church plant run by missionaries for Christian Associates International, and have begun entertaining the idea of working with them as a career, so to speak. But to sum up what I am learning right now, God is teaching my and testing me so that I may truly give Him everything. I see now what it truly means for me to surrender. I keep surrendering and then trying to guess at what God would want for, at things that would seem to fit with me well. But I have realized I don't really know myself, and God knows me better than even I do. I am learning to trust where He leads, even if it seems completely different than what I ever expected. I am learning not to be afraid of the peace He gives me about decisions I make, to not be afraid to make a decision that might seem to cement my life in one path. . .because I realize that's what I've been asking God for all along, that one path - and he knows it better than me. I suppose to make it clear I will use examples (SORRY THIS IS SO LONG!!)
1) I thought it was stupid to study abroad in Europe, I always wanted to go to South America, thought it would be a better fit. But now, on this second trip here, I have found that if I am to do missions, God is calling me not to South America, but to Europe (and there's so many details to this that blow me away but I won't get into it). And, had I not gone to Madrid, i might never have heard of Christian Associates International.
2) I always thought it was a bad idea to go to the east coast for college when I was growing up. Why leave California?? Well. . .hah enough said. One of the best choices I ever made that opened up many other things.
3) I wanted to go back to California after Marist. I gave up on the idea of Grad school. Now I am looking at a school/seminary/missions school in South Carolina with a master's degree in intercultural studies. And theres more to this story that I can't even begin to get into at the moment.

Ok so where do I see myself in 5 years? No clue. But now I'm okay with that, because I know what God wants me to do today. And that's all I can really handle haha.